A Sobering Dream

I woke up suddenly at 5am today and immediately wrote this in my journal:

I just had a terrible dream. I was at a restaurant with Len and we were talking about life and such but there was a sort of sadness to it. The dream switched to a camp ground and things weren't functioning properly with the septic system and my parents were trying to deal with that but the same type of depression was in that portion of the dream. Suddenly Len and I were in the back seat of a car riding somewhere and I was talking about how great things were when Titus was alive... About how things used to be and I could see his sweet smile in my dream as clear as day. My heart started to twist and I cried as I said, "I can't believe he's gone..." Len said "Man, I miss that kid." through tears of his own. I knew that it was hard on Len because Titus and he were so close. I sobbed as I said "I had TWO boys! TWO. I had EVERYTHING." and I leaned down with my face on the seat deeply sobbing with pain and remorse. And all of this was so real I felt the finality of it. Everything in me was regretting and wishing and I guess the death had happened recently in the dream because I asked Len, "Didn't they try to revive him?" (I'm crying even as I write this) and he answered "Yes, I was right there. They tried 6 times." That was it. So hopeless and final. So terrible and horrifying. And right then, I woke up. I was lying there looking at my ceiling thanking God that it wasn't real. I went into my boy's room and saw Titus sleeping peacefully.

I'm pretty sure God is trying to teach me something because I know I've been really hard on Titus lately. And two days ago I saw this video which has a very similar story:

http://youtu.be/86GTxOw4p1E

And after checking on the boys I went to the table and opened the Bible and this is the scripture I landed on: "Whoever accepts a child in my Name accepts me." Point taken.