My Singing

I love Foster the People so I recorded myself singing to Helena Beat. It's not perfect but it was enjoyable. I haven't truly loved a band for so long... *sigh*.

Home Film School

Since I realized that film was what I wanted to do, I've been homeschooling myself as much as is possible with two young boys around. It hasn't been completely thorough I must admit, but I have been learning both first hand through little projects and also with books (Thank you Howard & Mabley, XP Media Bootcamp) as well as online with NYVS. Along this home educating journey I've had the privilege of visiting a film class at Concordia and I've been learning about framing and setting up shots through my own photography experimenting. I don't feel like a regular film student at all. During my visit to Concordia I was almost massacred by the other students when I admitted to not knowing the movie "Raiders of the Lost Ark". So it was a classic I missed....along with another 90% of "must see" films I'm sure. Yet still, I feel God pushing me on in this schooling and He sometimes surprises me...like last night. We saw the film "Hugo" which was totally unplanned. My parents showed up and we decided to go see something at the oh so classy Dollar Cinema. It was a family movie but I absolutely loved it. It was all about the beginning of film. I realized, those people who made movies at the very beginning didn't go to film school either... they invented the methods. They had fun and they were free to express in whatever way they wanted through this new magic called "film". This is how I feel seeing as I haven't been told by professors what I can or can't do. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to go to film school.....and I may have if I hadn't gotten pregnant when I did. But right now at this stage, I'm so elated to be on my own. And last night after the movie I felt God stirring my heart again about media. My father somehow managed to get us into the control room of the theatre and we had a personal explanation of how everything worked up there. Ha! It felt like a class trip. I was so excited I was bouncing while talking to Len on the way home and then, as I looked out my window my eye caught the huge Canon headquarters building. The second my eyes saw the "Canon" sign, it's lights came on and lit it up in bright red. Wow. What a hilarious moment. I took it as a smile from God.

A Group of Artists....together?

Starting a painting group tonight. I'm excited about it extremely because being a Mom I have no other excuse to sit down and paint for a few hours. This really gives me the chance to get it out of system every month. (Painting above is an unfinished of my husband. He's pretty painting worthy...) One thing I am hoping doesn't happen is that artists compare or feel less than others. This will create such a terrible vibe...no one will want to come back. It's going to be tricky making all the artists feel comfortable. Like especially if someone just decides to walk around and "observe" other's work. Gosh. I just pray it goes well because if it does, it could be a great oasis amid a lot of dry responsibility.

A Sobering Dream

I woke up suddenly at 5am today and immediately wrote this in my journal:

I just had a terrible dream. I was at a restaurant with Len and we were talking about life and such but there was a sort of sadness to it. The dream switched to a camp ground and things weren't functioning properly with the septic system and my parents were trying to deal with that but the same type of depression was in that portion of the dream. Suddenly Len and I were in the back seat of a car riding somewhere and I was talking about how great things were when Titus was alive... About how things used to be and I could see his sweet smile in my dream as clear as day. My heart started to twist and I cried as I said, "I can't believe he's gone..." Len said "Man, I miss that kid." through tears of his own. I knew that it was hard on Len because Titus and he were so close. I sobbed as I said "I had TWO boys! TWO. I had EVERYTHING." and I leaned down with my face on the seat deeply sobbing with pain and remorse. And all of this was so real I felt the finality of it. Everything in me was regretting and wishing and I guess the death had happened recently in the dream because I asked Len, "Didn't they try to revive him?" (I'm crying even as I write this) and he answered "Yes, I was right there. They tried 6 times." That was it. So hopeless and final. So terrible and horrifying. And right then, I woke up. I was lying there looking at my ceiling thanking God that it wasn't real. I went into my boy's room and saw Titus sleeping peacefully.

I'm pretty sure God is trying to teach me something because I know I've been really hard on Titus lately. And two days ago I saw this video which has a very similar story:

http://youtu.be/86GTxOw4p1E

And after checking on the boys I went to the table and opened the Bible and this is the scripture I landed on: "Whoever accepts a child in my Name accepts me." Point taken.

Got Milk Video Contest

I decided to finally enter another video contest. This was so hilarious to make. My husband was amazing to agree to dressing up as a carton of milk!

If you want to vote for me, you can go here:

http://zooppa.com/ads/its-just-not-breakfast-without-milk/videos